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The most important thing is to stand out from the crowd to get your job

   What have you got to lose make the effort make the difference!

“No, it can’t be done,” said people to a man named Thomas, as he kept on failing at his experiment. Had he given up, today we would be still living in the dark. He failed for a thousand times until finally he made a bulb that could glow. And what did our hero Thomas Alva Edison have to say? He said he had learned 1000 ways that did not work until he found the right technique.

Often we do not try for fear of losing, but even if we lose, aren’t we winning? Winning experience, winning friends, and winning sympathy.

“Oh you were good !” “Hard luck, but there is always a next time.” “The judges were partial, I liked what you said.”

These are the words I have so often heard, naturally, after losing contests. And what has it got me… plenty of friends.

I was a teenager, when I first stepped in for a state-level speaking contest, with shaking feet and sweaty palms, and I asked my mentor and sounding board, “Do you think I should participate, uncle?”

His answer was simple, “What have you got to lose?” and that was that. Sure enough I lost the contest, well actually came a second, but lost the first place all the same. But I had won!

Overnight, I was the queen of the college with my picture in the papers, acknowledgements and smiles from passers-by, and a lot of applause wherever I went. I had gained popularity and I had gained friends. But the best part of all, I had gained experience. After that there was no looking back. Needless to say, I had gained confidence. The winning streak continues still.

People usually ask me, “What if we do not win?”

My answer is simple. You guessed it, “What have you got to lose?”

If you think you are losing your face or reputation by losing a contest, admit the fact that you were not good enough in the first place. The problem is that we are looking at our loss so subjectively  that we do not look at anything else. Not even at what we have gained due to the loss. We keep staring at the closed door instead of looking at the new windows that are opening for us.

“How do you do it?” people often ask me. Well it’s as simple as 1, 2, 3.

1.    Think laterally.
2.    Think without boundaries and limitations.
3.    Think of what you are going to gain.

We have to find what works for us, and what we can improve about ourselves. The secret behind converting a loss into a win is what we gain out of the experience.

A famous doha reads:

“Jin dhoondha tin pahiya, gehre paani paithi
Main bhapura duban dara, raha kinare baithi.”

Which means, “Those who strive, conquer by jumping into the waters, and I, scared of drowning, sit at the shore empty-handed.”

Every day is a new beginning. Go on, give yourself another chance. In life there are no guarantees. Do we stop picking roses because a thorn could prick us? Do we stop walking because we might fall? Do we stop swimming, because we might drown? Do we stop driving, for fear of having an accident? Do we stop trying just for fear of failing?

Then why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we stop taking more chances? Why do we stop participating in contests or experimenting in life?

Find the technique that works for you. What have you got to lose?

Dr.Arora is a freelance corporate trainer, Reiki master, feng shui consultant and aromatherapist. A periodontist by education, a Toastmaster by passion, she has been actively associated with radio, theatre and fine arts. Visit her websites www.mentalsparks.com and www.camelliastory.com.

With unemployment rates at record highs and Fortune 500s daily announcing pending layoffs, it is pretty clear that 2009 is going to usher in an even greater frenzy of job seekers. All of us, directly or indirectly, will be affected in some way.

As a job search coach, it concerns me that so many people will be out there, clinging to corporate outplacement services and to bad advice from well-meaning friends and family as a way to conduct their job search. Anxiety levels will be high, and expectations will be false.

When it comes to a job search, I have two areas that I focus on with my clients, above and beyond the quality of their resume: proper expectations and key target market. The reason I focus in on these areas so much is because they are often the two areas that trip up most job seekers and cause them to waste a lot of time, money, and frustration when it comes to their job search.

And when you add in people’s high desperation levels, it is only going to be worse.

Case in point: I spoke with a woman the other day who is a Ph.D. and has a diverse background in leadership development and change management. She is frustrated. She is mad. And she wants to spend a lot of time blaming someone, something, everyone. She wants one resume to cover 3 different fields, and she is angry that resume writers keep advising her against that. She wants some recruiter friend to tell her that everything she has ever done is fantastic, but of course the recruiter friend can only help guide her into a very specific job that the recruiter is recruiting for. And of course she doesn’t want and doesn’t fit that job. So she thinks, once again, that the resume just doesn’t “capture” her. She believes that with her background and expertise, she should be suitable for almost anything she wants to do, and she thinks that she shouldn’t have to spend more than 45 days looking for a job.

Ugh.

It’s going to be a very rude awakening for some job seekers out there. The truth is none of these things that my Ph.D. friend is expecting have been true for a very long time, if ever. I’m not sure where some of these expectations come from, but they are very misguided. Add to these false expectations a tough economy and job market and you have a recipe for disaster!

Yes, 2009 is definitely going to be the year of the job search, whether we like it or not. My hope is that out of the doom and gloom some positive things will arise.

First and foremost, I am hoping that many professionals will awaken to the idea that a job search is about much more than having a nice resume and talking to a couple recruiters. I’m hoping that they will begin to really look at how to conduct an effective search in a competitive market and will invest wisely in services to accomplish that goal.

But even more than that, I hope they will establish proper expectations in light of the economy and the nature of the marketplace today. Granted, it is a tough thing to do, but not impossible if you prepare. The problem is that most of us only look inward when it comes to a job search; we spend too much time looking at ourselves and not enough looking at the industry we are targeting. Therefore, we fail to prepare the way we need to. And then when things don’t work out the way we expect them to, we start blaming everything and everyone.

So if a job search is in your near future, don’t hide in a corner and wait until it comes. Make it your resolution this New Year’s to get yourself armed with wise counsel.

Why can't I find my dream job????

I hear this cry from job seekers all the time: “Why, oh why, does my dream job always seem to be around the next corner? When will I ever find it?”

I have to say that as a small business owner and self-employed individual, I find this discussion rather irritating.

The reason is because, all too often, the attitude of job seekers is that this elusive job is just out there, in all its perfection, just waiting for them to come along. The boss will be perfect. The pay will be perfect. The job description will be perfect. The environment and hours will be perfect. Blah, blah, blah…

The problem, of course, is that nothing is ever perfect, and that as long as there are people, there will be frustrations at work. So now that I think of it, I’m not really sure there even are dream jobs out there, but there are some that come pretty close. However, none of them are just waiting for you. They all require sacrifice, long hours, ups and downs, difficult clients and bosses, and endless hours of frustration and certain moments of failure.

I can say this because I have a “dream job” that I love. I am a career services professional. I have my own business, in which I get to put to good use all those MBA skills I paid so dearly to obtain. And I get to work with my wife, which really is one of the great joys of my life (honestly!).

But all of that has come at a great price. I have wasted countless hours and resources on marketing tactics that haven’t worked. I have given up evenings and weekend hours trying to work with an unreasonable client who just needed everything right that second. I have formed fruitless partnerships, and I have given away lots of free services only to walk away with nothing to show for it.

Why am I saying all this? Because despite all that, somewhere in the midst of all my failed efforts and frustrating moments, a business somehow took shape, a business that now supports my family and has grown large enough to employ others and earn a solid reputation.

Believe me, I could have given up many times along the way. I could have cried into my keyboard, “Oh why is my dream job eluding me?” I could have ran back to the corporate world, hid in my office, and blamed the economy for all my disappointments (and the government), but I chose (and my partner chose) to stick with it.

Is it perfect? No. Do I love every minute of it? Definitely not. Is it the job of my dreams? Some days. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Ever since I started on this quest to build the career of my dreams, I have been faced with the hardest obstacles, the absolute most unfair people I have ever worked with and for, and I have had to suffer defeat more times than I care to admit.

So the next time you wonder why the job of your dreams always seems to be around the next corner, ask yourself whether you are willing to do what it takes to get it. Ask yourself whether you are really looking for that challenge, that purpose for your career. Or whether you just want something cushy, something smooth sailing.

From what I can see, dream jobs are rarely smooth and certainly not meant for comfort.

Executive Job Search -  Back to the basics!

I’ve had the privilege of working with job seekers of a wide range of backgrounds and industries. But this past year, I have concentrated much of my time to working with executives and executive-wannabes.

Why, you might ask?

Because I saw that of all levels of professionals, it was executives who seemed to have lost (or maybe they never had it to begin with) their grasp on how to conduct an effective job search and on how to do it in a professional manner. Honestly, I think many of them simply don’t take their job search all that seriously. At least, they don’t act like they do.

Professionalism…It is quickly becoming a lost art, I’m afraid. From scruffy facial hair to baggy jeans to disastrous cell phone and e-mail etiquette, I’m beginning to think that people view their work environments as nothing more than an extension of their college dorm room.

I can’t tell you how many illegible e-mails I receive on a daily basis from job seekers demanding salaries of no less than $150,000. Right now I have one in front of me from a “whearhouse director” who apparently doesn’t know how to run a spell check before shooting off an e-mail. Then there is the CEO who can’t attach a file to his e-mail. So every time I send him something to review, he prints it out, writes on it, and faxes it back to me. Now I’m sure he has some great operations skills, but if this is how he conducts business on a regular basis, he must drive everyone nuts! Not to mention the fact that he can’t possibly be giving potential employers the best impression.

For some reason, the more successful we become, the more we rely on our accomplishments to do all the talking and the less effort we put into considering how we present ourselves to the rest of the world. And, to some extent, that is understandable.

After all, we worked hard. We climbed that ladder. We jumped through those hoops. So who cares about our facial hair? We saved the company £2M last year alone!!

It also doesn’t help matters that there are several top-rated corporations out there who have taken on the persona of their college dorm room CEOs. Their headquarters are virtually play lands of gyms, game rooms, and massage tables. And employees wear “cas” and looks like they just rolled out of bed.

Don’t get me wrong…this lifestyle is great while it lasts, but when it is time to move on, reality hits: Not everyone in the world goes to work in their pajamas and straggly hair. And not everyone appreciates the laid-back vibe.

I know, you’re the renegade. You’re worth it, so your beard and tattoo don’t matter. And good spelling? Well, you’re above that. That’s what we have assistants for, right?

This logic may work in the movies, and it may even work for a select few. But I can tell you, executive or not, most people don’t want to do business with a slob and with someone whose grammar and computer skills are worse than a 4th grader, no matter how fantastic you are.

So let’s get back to the basics. You have the credentials. You have the experience and the metrics to back it up. Now it is time to remember those early days when you first started out: buy a new suit, find your razor, and for God’s sake, learn how to spell!